Me: You should learn to play Happy Birthday on the harmonica.
K: It doesn't come with that song.
Me: Did you wash your Barbie's hair with shampoo?
K: Yes, and conditioner. I wanted it to smell nice!!
K: Those white dandelions are older than the yellow ones. That's why they've turned white.
K, playing Barbie store: Welcome to my store! I used to work at another one, but then I opened up this Barbie store.
Me: Where did you work before?
K: At Walmart.
Me: In the toy section?
K: No, in Home and Living.
K: Today I made a bunch of drawings for you and Daddy to buy with real money!!
Me: Oh? How much are you selling them for?
K: $1,000 for everything.
K: Was Walmart around when everything was black and white?
Me: It's been around a long time... but the whole world wasn't black and white.
K: Yes it was.
Me: No, that was just TV, but I see why it's confusing--
K: I'm not confused!! I'VE SEEN THE PICTURES. People, trees-- everything was black and white.
K, dramatically throwing her head back and wailing: WHY ME?????
Me: What?
K (suddenly calm): Ryan wants all of my goldfish.
K: Why do they call it the Golf of Mexico? Maybe because they play golf there?
K, watching The Sound of Music: Those nuns should really be more active.
Me: Haha, you should dress up like a nun for Halloween. That'd be funny.
K: No thanks, it's cold on Halloween.
Me: Exactly. The long robe and headdress would keep you warm.
K: Well, I like the fresh breeze!
K, playing eye doctor: I'm afraid you need glasses.
Me: What if it rains? My lenses will get all wet and I won't be able to see!
K (plainly): Then get an umbrella.
Dave: When I was little, I liked to watch Duck Tales, He-Man, GI-Joe, Rescue Rangers...
K: Wait, I thought you only had like 3 channels back then.
K: I just love my American Girl doll. Hey, her shoes were made in China!
K: What does 'fraternal' mean?
Me: Use it in a sentence.
K: Ok. What does 'fraternal' mean?
Me: You need to make sure that the back of your shirt doesn't get tucked into your leggings.
K: I don't know how to check that.
Me: You know, just look in the mirror and turn your head to the side.
K: But that man at the zoo said humans can't turn our heads all the way around.
K: Why can't we turn?
Me: Siri said to go straight.
K: Siri needs to learn her manners!
Me: I saw something on the news about flying cars happening in the future.
K: I don't believe that.
Me: Why not?
K: Because that's just a bunch of nonsense!!
K: If we eat sunflower seeds and drink water, will sunflowers grow in our bellies?
Me: No.
K: What if we add mud?
K, throwing a goldfish cracker out the window: Bye, little fishy! You had some good times.
Me (at the store): Oh! I left my wallet in the car! Good thing I remembered before we got inside and to the checkout. Then we would have to ask them to hold our groceries while we went to get my wallet---
K: Yeahhhhh, I don't think that would be appropriate, Mama.
K: I'm going... Can I... I may not be here for awhile!!!! (quickly runs off)
K (nervously riding her bike): MAYBE YOU SHOULD PRAY THAT I DON'T FALL!
Me: Ok. God, please help Katelyn not to fall.
K (after falling 20 min later): GOD BROKE HIS PROMISE!!!!!!!
K: I would like to go to a Foot Spa. Also, how old do I have to be to get a massage?
Me: Older than six.
K: Ryan, how old are you? One!
R: Two!
K: No, you're one.
R: Two!
K: No, we're not counting. Say one.
R: Two!
K: What's that statue?
Me: Jesus washing his disciple's feet.
K: THAT'S DISGUSTING.
Me: It was also really kind. Remember, back then they walked everywhere in sandals, so their feet were probably really dirty. Jesus was doing a very nice thing.
K: It's still disgusting.
