K: Tomorrow night you and Annabelle and some other kids will walk down the aisle at Grandad's church carrying American flags.
Me: Is this a winning game?
K: What...? NO, it is not a race. No running, no contest. Just carry a flag and walk like everyone else.
Me: What's up with you calling me 'mom' all the sudden?
K: I'm calling you Mom because I am your child, remember?
K: Why is there only one God?
Me: Because that's all we need.
K: Aww man, I was hoping there'd be 11.
K: I will change ALL the baby's diapers.
Me: Babies poop, you know.
K: I will change ALL the wet diapers. You can change the poopy ones. I don't want to get poop on my hands.
K (mumbling to herself): Four is just hard.
K: Look, a horse! I'd like a horse party for my 5th birthday!
Me: That sounds... expensive.
K: Oh, we wouldn't have to BUY the horses. Just ride them.
Me: But you're scared of horses... you wouldn't even ride the mini horses at the Fall Festival.
K: Let's have a Fall Festival birthday party!!!!!!
Me (while watching America Ninja Warrior): Wow, I could never do that.
K: Maybe I could do that. Because I'm so strong.
K (singing): This little light of mine--
Me: I'm gonna let it shine!
K: This is not a duet.
K (annoyed): I'm four now. Why do these clothes and shoes still fit me?
K: It's French.
Me: I didn't know you spoke French! What does it mean?
K: It means hello.
Me: OH. Bonjour.
K: Why are you back early from playing golf?
Dave: I wasn't playing very well.
K: Did you tell the coach to go home?
Dave: No, I was just hitting golf balls.
Me: What candy did you choose?
K: Smarties. To make me smart.
Me: Let's chat.
K: What does chat mean?
Me: Have a little conversation.
K: Ohhhh... well, you're kind of a chatterbox.
Me: Don't say "I can't." Say "I'll try."
K: I can't even try.
K: I'm going to tell you the story of baby Jesus. Jesus was born in a manger and Mary always wore blue.
K: Mommy, you look scruffy.
Me: Well that's not very nice!
K (gesturing wildly): Oh, I AM being nice! But you need to know. You look scruffy.
Me: When your friends say hi to you in the morning and you give them a pouty face, you're being rude.
K: Well, I am just not a morning person.
Me: What's up with you calling me Mom lately?
K: When I turn 4, I'm going to start calling you Mom.
K: MOMMY. There's a wolf outside. Not a bunny, not a cat, not a bird. A wolf.
Me: Are you sure it wasn't a small coyote?
K: It was a wolf. And wolves live on the moon.
K: You know, there's a moon and the wolf goes howwwwwwl.
Me: Why are you mad at Baylor?
K: She was licking the carpet and I told her not to and she did it anyway and that was disrespecting me!!!
K: I'm sometimes a bit of a handful.
Dave, watching the World Cup: Yeah! USA just scored a goal!
K: Hmph. I wanted to win.
Me: You're not even playing the game!!!!
K: When I grow up, I'd like helicopter. I'd like to also be a helicopter pilot.
Me: I'm glad you like the water! You're part fish!
K: Actually, I'm a clown fish.
Me: You are pretty funny.