R: *sneezes* Bless you, myself.
K: Sometimes Ryan calls "spaghetti" "psaghetti."
R, in a very sophisticated voice: Yes, but sometimes I call it pasta.
R, upset: My jeans have a hole in them!!
K: What?! I wish my jeans had holes! How come he gets pants with rips and I don't??
Me: For teacher appreciation week, I got your teachers a nice candle, sticky notepads, and a snack.
K: Ok, but can we also get medium-sized glass jars? I'd like to spray paint them pink and blue, one for each teacher. When they're dry, we'll coat them in Mod-Podge and then cover them in glitter. When they're done we'll fill the jar with Dum-Dums.
While at the store, Katelyn was stopping to look at everything she saw...
R: Katelyn, focus!
Me: You are driving me nuts.
K, delightfully: Figurative language!!!
K: Do you have some sort of basket?
Me: For what?
K: I need somewhere to put my books.
Me: How about the built-in bookshelf in your closet?
K: Well, I feel like a basket is more creative. It's more "me."
Me: Go get your shoes and socks.
R, very seriously: Two socks?
Me: Yes, one for each foot.
R: Ok... FOCUS. (walks purposefully to get his socks)
Me, weary of trying to explain Daylight Savings Time: If the sun wants to stay out longer, it can do that.
R: BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE EYES OR A NOSE OR A MOUTH!
Me: Sorry, the tooth fairy forgot to come last night. Do you want me to come tonight instead?
K: Yes! (whispers excitedly) Wear wings!
Me: Sharpie markers do not easily wash off! I need you to tell me that you won't color on your legs with them again.
K: (long pause) Ok, I won't do it again... but I think we both know the answer to that.
Me: You are in trouble!!
R, suddenly looking panicked: But can I still be happy??
Me: How did you get your thumb out of the thumb guard?!? (for thumb sucking)
R: (long pause) I don't have any words.
Me: I'm going to start reading a new book on Leonardo da Vinci.
K, literally dropping what she was doing: I'M IN.
R: I need to poop a lot. It's going to be a party in there!
K: I really don't want to have a boy someday. Just girls.
Me: Boys aren't so bad! And they can be really sweet to their mamas.
K: Well, I guess it's ok if I have a boy. I just want him to put on deodorant every day.
Dave: Hey, let's see if you can be still for two minutes! (sets timer)
With 30 seconds remaining, Ryan was trying his best but still fidgety and clearly uncomfortable.
R, solemnly: Daddy, I don't like this game. I don't want to play this game again.
R: Who will will Jeopardy?
Me: I don't know, they're still playing.
R: Maybe James.
