Tuesday, August 11, 2015

She Keeps Us Laughing!

K: Tomorrow night you and Annabelle and some other kids will walk down the aisle at Grandad's church carrying American flags.
Me: Is this a winning game?
K: What...? NO, it is not a race. No running, no contest. Just carry a flag and walk like everyone else.

Me: What's up with you calling me 'mom' all the sudden?
K: I'm calling you Mom because I am your child, remember?

K: Why is there only one God?
Me: Because that's all we need.
K: Aww man, I was hoping there'd be 11.

K: I will change ALL the baby's diapers.
Me: Babies poop, you know.
K: I will change ALL the wet diapers. You can change the poopy ones. I don't want to get poop on my hands.

K (mumbling to herself): Four is just hard.

K: Look, a horse! I'd like a horse party for my 5th birthday!
Me: That sounds... expensive.
K: Oh, we wouldn't have to BUY the horses. Just ride them. 
Me: But you're scared of horses... you wouldn't even ride the mini horses at the Fall Festival.
K: Let's have a Fall Festival birthday party!!!!!!

Me (while watching America Ninja Warrior): Wow, I could never do that.
K: Maybe I could do that. Because I'm so strong.

K (singing): This little light of mine--
Me: I'm gonna let it shine!
K: This is not a duet.

K (annoyed): I'm four now. Why do these clothes and shoes still fit me?

K: Poojure. 
Me: What?
K: It's French.
Me: I didn't know you spoke French! What does it mean?
K: It means hello.
Me: OH. Bonjour.

K: Why are you back early from playing golf?
Dave: I wasn't playing very well.
K: Did you tell the coach to go home?
Dave: No, I was just hitting golf balls.

Me: What candy did you choose?
K: Smarties. To make me smart.

Me: Let's chat.
K: What does chat mean?
Me: Have a little conversation.
K: Ohhhh... well, you're kind of a chatterbox.

Me: Don't say "I can't." Say "I'll try."
K: I can't even try.

K: I'm going to tell you the story of baby Jesus. Jesus was born in a manger and Mary always wore blue.

K: Mommy, you look scruffy.
Me: Well that's not very nice!
K (gesturing wildly): Oh, I AM being nice! But you need to know. You look scruffy.

Me: When your friends say hi to you in the morning and you give them a pouty face, you're being rude.
K: Well, I am just not a morning person.

Me: What's up with you calling me Mom lately?
K: When I turn 4, I'm going to start calling you Mom.

K: MOMMY. There's a wolf outside. Not a bunny, not a cat, not a bird. A wolf. 
Me: Are you sure it wasn't a small coyote? 
K: It was a wolf. And wolves live on the moon.
Me: What?
K: You know, there's a moon and the wolf goes howwwwwwl.

Me: Why are you mad at Baylor? 
K: She was licking the carpet and I told her not to and she did it anyway and that was disrespecting me!!!

K: I'm sometimes a bit of a handful.

Dave, watching the World Cup: Yeah! USA just scored a goal!
K: Hmph. I wanted to win.
Me: You're not even playing the game!!!!

K: When I grow up, I'd like helicopter. I'd like to also be a helicopter pilot.

Me: I'm glad you like the water! You're part fish!
K: Actually, I'm a clown fish.
Me: You are pretty funny.

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