They keep us laughing!

R, in the car: I want to listen to the football game.
Me: Sorry, I don't know where to find that on the radio. You'll have to listen when Daddy's in the car.
R: *sigh* Yeah, you're not Daddy.

R, pretending: I'm going to Costco.
Me: What are you going to get?
R: Um, baby Jesus.

K: Holy cow!
R: What?! Where's a holy cow? I don't see it!

K: Let's play Christmas music!
Me: Alexa isn't working because the internet is down.
K: I won't use Alexa! I'll use an old fashioned CD!

K, whispering under her breath: I don't like following directions. They make me feel less creative.
Me: Preach.

Me: Are you disobeying me?
R: Not yet.

Me: You took a bath two hours ago and your hair is wet again. What's in your hair?
K: Nothing.
Me: What's in your hair??
K: Water.
Me: AND?
K: LipstickbutIcanwashitout.

R: I can't get this play dough out!!
K, plainly and without offering to help: Just believe in yourself.

Me, during lunch: Is that macaroni and cheese in your shirt pocket?
R: Yes! (then takes it out and eats it)

After several lazy days (weeks?) without wearing makeup over Christmas break, I got dressed up for date night.
R: Hey, I like your eyes! Where'd those come from?

K: What can make you stop crying right now?
R: Jesus.

As I was helping R into his Paw Patrol costume:
R: Left foot first! (and then proceeds to put in his left foot)
Me: That IS your left foot, good job! Do you actually know your left and right?
R: Yes!
Me: Oh really? Which way is left?
R: This way. (shifts his entire body left)
Me: Correct! Wow, how did you know that??
R: The Cupid Shuffle.

K: Deep, deep down there is Satan. He makes us make bad choices and be scared! We don't want to go there, deep, deep down into the fire!
R: Fireman put out the fire!
K: No, there's no fireman down there!! You want to go waaaay up there! To Heaven!
R: My fire truck has a ladder!
K: We're not talking about that. You want to go to Heaven. And you know how we get there? We ask Jesus into our hearts. And you know what else? God and Jesus are right by your side and will never leave you.