They keep us laughing!

Me: I have to go to Starbucks and you get to come with me. You can get a special snack-- maybe a muffin or a cake pop or some banana bread. Do you know what kind of treat you might like?
R: Do they have bacon?

R: I need to go potty.
Me: Ok, so go potty.
R: But this is a two person job.

Me: Come here, Pumpkin. 
R: Why do you call me Pumpkin? You could just call me Minion.

R: Daddy, do you know what I said??
Dave: What?
R: I SAID A-BOOM-CHICKA-BOOM!

R: I'm full.
Me: No, you barely at your dinner.
R: But I already ate breakfast, lunch, and snack today. Why do I need to eat dinner??

K: Annabelle let me use some of her perfume, so now my feet smell good.

R: Will you sing me a bedtime song?
Me: Ok, which song?
R: The Jeopardy song.

R: I'm allergic to vegetables.
Me: Really? All of them?
R (sadly): Well... yeah.

R: I don't want to eat my carrots. Carrots are allergic to me.

Me: Let's go!
R: Ok, darlin.

R: I'm going to teach you how to skate! You just put your feet in them and then SKATE!
Dave: Is that how you do it?
R: Yes! See, that's how you skate!
Dave: I can't wait to teach you how to play baseball.

R: ... All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty together again. They were not doctors?

K: Why can't Baylor have puppies?
Me: We had her fixed a long time ago. There's a lot involved in having puppies.
K: All we need is a basket, a towel, ANOTHER towel, and a dog.

Me: I told you to read. Why aren't you reading?
K: I decided to do something educational instead.
Me: ...
K: I'm playing and using my brain that way.

Katelyn announced she would be putting on a fashion show for us, so Ryan dutifully sat in his assigned seat, cheered and clapped when she told him to, etc. 
Finally, he asked: So when does the movie start?
Me: Ohhhh... this isn't a show like a movie. This is kind of like a performance for us to watch. (best brother ever!)

R: Daddy, I know that you're my best friend, but right now I just want Mommy to hold me.

R, praying very slowly: Thank you God for brown. Blue. Green. Black--
Me: So thank you God for colors?
R: Yes. Brown, green, pink, purple, red--
Me: All the colors?
R: Yes. Brown, blue, grey, orange-- is that too much? 
Me: Well, it's ok to say them all, but it might be easier to just say 'colors.'
R: No thanks. Brown, blue, yellow, pink, green...