They Keep Us Laughing!

R: That's the last kiss I have!
Me: You're all out?
R: Yep. I better get more from Baylor and then I can kiss you again.

R, to me at my parents' house: Are you going upstairs to talk to Jerald?

Santa: What do you want for Christmas?
R: Well, my daddy already bought my presents.

R: This new juice is quite disgusting. See that picture of a grape on the box? That's what makes it disgusting.

R: I had a bad day. My friend put his boogers on me.
K: Gross! Did you put your boogers on him??
R: No. I didn't have any.

After an emotional day, K was sentenced to a relaxing bubble bath.
Me: Do you want candles for your bath?
K: What I really want are rose petals around the edge of the tub.

R: Guess what? My favorite animal is a zebra!
Me: Really? Cool!
R: Tomorrow it's going to be a fox.

Me to K: Have a good day at school! I know you can meet your goal!
R, 5 minutes later: Is Katelyn going to play soccer today?
Me: No, why?
R: Well then how will she meet her goal?

R: I wish we had a blanket that went alllll the way down the bed, and then there were balloons and they would pop.
Me: Can you explain that more?
R: The balloons would be underneath the blanket and they would pop when I laid down on them. It was a joke, Mommy.

R: Guess what?? When I was napping, I read THE WHOLE BIBLE. All of the pages! I learned a lot.

R, at Katelyn's basketball game: All these people are NOT using their inside voices.

Me: I heard you get sick in the night so I ran upstairs.
R: You ran fast to come help me?
Me: Yes!
R: Did you also say oh dear?

Me: Look at that spider web! He used all his legs to build it! Amazing!
R: Yeah. How do we get rid of it?

R: I cleaned the living room! 
Me: Well thank you!
R: With pleasure!

R: We smell Baylor's toots because she doesn't wear pants.

R: Where does the water go down the drain?
Me: Into the pipes, down into the ground.
R: Where the gnomes are?

Dave: Are you going to put me in a nice nursing home when I'm older?
R: No, I'm going to BUY it for you!

R, looking at my left hand: I like your rings! There are two on that finger. Which did you get first? The plain one or the snowflake? [meaning my wedding band or my engagement ring]

Grandmom: Are you having a good day?
R: Not yet.

R, during COVID-19 quarantine and at 8:45pm: Mama, I wore these pajamas the whole day. I should probably change into some new ones.