Friday, April 6, 2018

They keep us laughing!

Me (having a very long, in-depth discussion about God): ... and God knows everything about you-- even what your next thought it going to be!
K: So God knows how many meters long this house is?

K: Ugh! This is maddening! My invention is just not working!!!!
Me: I'm sorry, maybe try again later?
K: No, I just need some quiet time to think about this.

Me: I just realized at your next birthday party, you'll turn 7. I need a moment to cry, please.
K: It's ok, Mommy, you'll turn a year older, too!

Me: Why didn't you eat your carrots at lunch?
K: I didn't have time and you gave me a lot.
Me: Ok, you can eat them tomorrow-- for breakfast!
K (dryly): Oh Mommy, you're always good for a laugh.

Me: Why is there a sign on your door that says $5?
K: Well, it's not for you, Daddy, or Ryan. But anyone else who wants to enter my room has to pay $5.

Me, skeptical that all her carrots were gone: Have you been throwing away the carrots you don't want in your lunch at school?
K: No, I've been eating them. But that's what I used to do in kindergarten.

After a long discussion about what it means to confess our sins:
K: Mommy, I think I need to be honest with you about something.
Me: Ok, I'm listening.
K (deep breath and in a high, squeaky voice): Well... you know how sometimes you say I can have one piece of candy well sometimes I have two but I can'thelpitcandyisthebest!!!! 
Me: Is there anything else you need to be honest about?
K (back to her normal voice): Yeah, in kindergarten I also used to throw away my sandwich at lunch. Man, being honest like this sure feels weird.

K (watching the Olympics): I want to go to Israel and meet that figure skater.
Me: That's a long way to go to meet one person!
K: Well, on Sunday at church they said they're taking a trip to Israel soon. Maybe I could go with them.

Me: Throw away that toothbrush, please. I got you a new one.
K (10 minutes later and very solemnly): Mommy, I need you to come here. It's time for the funeral. 

K: Ryan is two. Man, it's going to be a bad year!
Me: Why?
K: Because he's two! And two year olds these days!!

K, on an airplane as it was landing: My ear made a fart noise!

D: Bye Ryan, have a good day!
R: Adios!

Me: I wouldn't trade you or Ryan for anything in this world.
K: What about your salmon?

R, lying down without a shirt on, laid on the floor, stretched his arms behind his head, sighed, and said, "It's a hot day!"

R: Where's my da-dor (tractor)?
Me: At home. Baylor's going to watch your tractor while we're gone.
R: (distraught) Oh noooo!!!!
Me: No, Baylor will not be ON your tractor. Baylor will be sleeping. It's still YOUR tractor.

____________

Ryan is really verbal, but when he doesn't know how to pronounce a word, he substitutes it with the sound that it makes:

Fire truck/police car = whee-oh, whee-oh (like the sound of a siren)
Fire in fireplace = whee-oh 
Santa = ho ho
Sheep = baa baa
Horse = neigh neigh
... and so on. I love it.



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