K: The next time someone dies, I'm going to say, "Oh look, they've expired."
K, ready to tell a joke: Hey Ryan, is your refrigerator running?
R: No, my nose running.
Me: Where's Ryan?
Dave: I thought he was with you...
We found him sitting quietly on the stairs, where he had voluntarily put himself in time out 15 minutes earlier. I'm still not sure what he did wrong, and I had forgotten he was there!
Me: Well... are you feeling better about your choices?
R: Nope. I stay in time out.
R: My ear feel funny... booger...
Me: Did you put a booger in your ear?
Me: Say pretty please.
R: Pretty please!
Me: Say "Mommy, you're the best!"
R: I da best.
After receiving a free sample of cereal at the grocery store, Ryan held onto the little cup very seriously.
Me: It's ok if you eat that now.
R: I can't eat it right now.
Me: Why not?
R: You have to pay first.
I tried to explain, but it was no use... he held tightly to that little free sample cup the whole time. At the checkout, I pretended to scan it, gave it back to him, and then he happily ate it!
R, pointing to the tag on his Paw Patrol stuffed animal: Paw Patrol have a ponytail???
Me: You have to stop biting your nails. We need to put that bitter polish back on them.
K: Ok. It doesn't really help, though. I mean, it just tastes like earwax.
Me: ... Gross!!!! One issue at a time, please!
R: Aw, man!
Me: What happened?
R: I spill applesauce on my bellybutton.
Me, holding a peeled apple slice from McDonald's: Want an apple?
R (appalled): No! That apple nakey nakey!!
R: My tummy hurts. I need to go to the doctor.
Me: I don't think you're sick. What's the doctor going to say?
R: No more jumping on the bed!!
And reasons my heart has melted lately...
Me, driving to drop off kids one morning: Oh no! I forgot my lunch! I left it in the fridge! I can't believe I did that.
R: It's ok, Mommy. Hold my hand.
R: Oh no, Mommy! Your water shirt is all wet! You need a towel!
Me: It's ok, we're supposed to get wet in a swimming pool.
R: No, I get you a towel. Here you go.
R: Ya-ya (Katelyn) my best friend.