They keep us laughing!

Me: Relax! You know what Grandad says? 90% of the things we worry about never even happen.
K: Then maybe I should start worrying about all the things so that they don't happen.

After getting mad that I threw something away that she longer played with:
Me: When was the last time you even played with it?
K: December 2017.

Me: Daddy is a very focused person. When he has something to do, he gets it done.
K: That's just weird.

K: You're not going to have anything to do on Mother's Day!
Me: How nice! So you're going to do everything for me?!
K (long pause): What exactly do you do?

Me, singing: "Turn your eyes upon Jesus..."
R, squinting his eyes tight: I did it! I did it!

Me: Can you stay a little boy forever?
R: No, I not a little boy. I a nice man.

R, authoritatively, as though making an announcement: I don't eat peas.

R's way of saying he's scared of something: I scary.

R, singing: Baa, baa black sheep-- I the black sheep. Mommy, you the dame. 

R, pointing to our Cinco de Mayo photo strip from the celebration at K's school: It's hola, Mommy! Hola!!!

R, pointing to a picture of George Washington crossing the Potomac: Is that Moana?

R: Funny!
Me: What's funny?
R: Me! Ry-Ry!!!

Me: It's VBS day!
R: Emerson???
Me: Yes, you'll probably see Emerson.
R: O-kayyy, I'll go.

Me: You made a mess with your rice!!
R: Yeahhhh, I a hungry boy.

Me: I missed you today! Did you miss me?
R: No.

R: Let me see!
K: Let me see, please. 
R: Please!
K: Now say the whole sentence.
R: The whole sentence.

R: (suddenly coming up to me and reaching out to shake my hand) It's nice to see you!!
Me: It's nice to see you, too!
R: Ok, bye ma'am!

R, to his Sunday School teachers: Daddy a bus driver. He drive a yellow bus!

R, to me: Daddy works at Walmart. Moves carts.

R, after I said several family members' full names: Good job with your words, Mommy.

R, looking at very ripe bananas: Hahahahaha! Those bananas in chocolate!

R: Gimme that!
Me: I don't understand "gimme." Try "May I have..."
(moments later)
R: Oh my gosh!
Me: Let's say "Oh my goodness."
R: (big sigh) Oh my gimme.